How Many Times?

How many times today have I thought about you? I spent the day with my children, shopping, gardening… and how many times have you been in my head? How many times have I wondered where you are, or what you’re doing? Too many…

I don’t know why today is worse than any other day; I just know that, whatever I do, my thoughts keep coming back to you. It’s like my brain is stuck on repeat, and everything, everywhere triggers a memory of you. My daughter asks me a question, and I see you in my head. My son sings a song, and I hear you singing along with him. I watch a film and I can’t help but think that you should be there watching too.

Someone quoted the difference between saying goodbye and letting go the other day. It seems I can say goodbye so many times, but I just never manage letting go.

Saying goodbye or letting go

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6 thoughts on “How Many Times?

  1. I am feeling very much like you right now – and this quote – just tore me up inside. I have not seen him in 6 months and we pretty much do not communicate anymore. I keep telling myself this is for the best, but i really do not want it to be. It sucks doesn’t it?

    I like the look of your blog – very sophisticated. I may be changing mine – I need a change, I think. xx

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