Expression set, smile perfected
Animated conversation punctuated with giggles.
Behind the scenes I analyse
Too aware of my words and my reactions
Waiting for the slip of a miscalculated phrase.
Outwardly confident, sure of myself
Advisor, confidante and mentor in one.
Between the lines I’m worrying
How long before they expose me as a fraud,
As an expert in nothing, a guru of insignificance.
Carefree comebacks, comical insinuations
Life and soul of any conversation.
Behind the screen I swipe at tears
Infuriated at my own weaknesses and impotence
Listening to a requiem in my mind.