What a week!
I am back at school, working like I’ve never worked before, and loving every single minute of it. I have trained, I have planned, I have taught, assessed, analysed, marked, praised, comforted, smiled, laughed and, yes, cried. I love my job, and am so glad to be doing what I get paid for again.
I am back in other ways too; I am not only a proud teacher but also a proud mum. I am so wonderfully in love with those children of mine; as someone else put it recently… I am indeed their biggest fan.
I have a son who is caring, sensitive and witty – he has grown so much in the last twelve months, in more ways than one. He towers over me now, at thirteen, and surprises me constantly with his insight into things around him. He is a perceptive lad, and brave enough to say the things he feels. He has me considering his words long after he has spoken them, and I see the admiral, incredible young man he is turning into before my eyes with a pride that makes my heart swell.
I have a daughter who is bright, bubbly and inventive – she is no longer a child, but a beautiful young lady, inside and out. She has dealt with so much recently, and has come out right on top. I am very proud of the 10 A*-B grades in GCSEs, but much more intensely proud of the open communication lines that are so often missing between parents and teenagers. I adore those conversations late at night, sat on my bedroom floor, when she talks to me about my day and hers, and asks my opinion on the matters close to her heart.
I have my faith back again. Faith in myself to do the right things, faith that there are wonderful people around me who deserve nothing less than the tears of gratitude I’ve been crying all night long. My friends, here and elsewhere, who have found the right words to say, and managed to convince me that my life is indeed something worth treasuring, also have me crying.
And one last thing. I have found a kind of love that I never expected to find again, and the courage to embrace it. I have found my way into the extraordinary world of wanting and needing, and desiring and missing. My heart is whole, and in the hands of another.
I am an ordinary girl, in an extraordinary world, full of joy and colour and sunshine.