Broken

I fell in love, and the days were bright and my life was full.

I fell in love, yet the nights are long and restless and empty.

I heard your words, and my heart was overflowing with emotion.

I heard your words, but words forgot their meanings, all jumbled in half truths.

I knew my worth, and so did you, so gentle and considerate.

My worth is gone, given up in too long waiting and wanting.

I wanted you, the other part of my heart.

I want you still, but my heart is broken.

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Pieces

Jigsaw

A jigsaw with pieces that don’t fit together.

Puzzling, pondering, wondering whether

I’ve lost one or two of the essential parts

And I’m stuck. Taking it back to the start

So it seems… but some things don’t reverse,

This rearranging is making it worse.

Still thinking, considering, reasoning now

Am I skewing it? Warping? Distorting somehow?

Trying to rebuild it a different way;

It’s just getting worse, it’s all crumbling away.

I can’t fill this hole, it’s a ‘whole’ I can’t find

And I’ve just realised why; these pieces aren’t mine.

Don’t

Don’t snap

Don’t say it… you’re hurt, I know

Don’t open your mouth

Don’t panic, breathe slow

Don’t ask the question,

Don’t catch the eye

Hold back your words

And try not to cry

Stop up the tears,

Please, don’t speak out loud

Don’t say what you want to

Keep your head bowed

Maintain the silence

Stay quiet, keep the peace

It won’t be forever

These feelings will cease

Close up your doorway

And then your heart

Lock it up tightly

And try to restart

Valentine

I love…

Oh, how I love.

Brighter than the stars… wilder than the sea.

You’re there, and I’m grinning. 17 years old and head over heels,

Wondering what comes next but not really caring, because…

You.

Just you.

This smile that’s going to break my face one day,

But you’ll be there to put it back together

Like you fixed my trust. Did you fix it, or did I?

Does it matter? Because I trust you, either way. I trust you

With my life. My life, which is your life. One great big adventure

With explorations and discoveries that make me feel as if

I landed on the moon.

I’m here in the heavens and you are the stars. So bright, so close

That I’m on fire. You are my fire starter

Burning up the skies until

I

Can’t

Breathe.

I don’t want to. I want to stop time, right here, right now.

I hold my breath

And everything slows. Your face, suspended

In front of mine for an eternity.

Exactly as it should be, right where you belong.

You are home.

You are where I’m meant to be. I’m here, with you, and we are ‘us’.

Stronger together, funnier, louder, more alive. We’re winning

At life. At love… We’ve won the world.

A whole new world. So many memories to make

And time stretching out before us.

I am in love. You are my heart and

We love.

Oh…

How we love.

 

Seeing Stars

Your hand in mine is where it starts,

Waking and dreaming all the same.

Twilight hours in places dark,

With sighs and highs and whispered names.

Caresses that seem too soft to bring

This mounting, urgent appetite,

But every individual touch

And sound and shiver to lust unite.

A wordless lust, evading speech,

Compelling us to joyous peak

And peak anew, each higher still,

Each simple touch and taste unique.

Euphoric fantasy combined

With substance like I’ve never known

To raise us up and hold us there

On breath of whimpers, cries and moans.

Lost in delicious ecstasy,

A paradise, this world just ours,

You take hold of my hand again;

My opened eyes see only stars.

stars

Mazes

Where did you go? I’ve looked so hard

And far to find you but I can’t.

It’s not a case of hide and seek,

Deep down inside this feels like grief.

A loss too big, too grave, too steep

To bear; and even as I sleep

I dream of you, of times gone by,

Of times I felt your strength inside

And tried to wake, to find you here

And now I feel this crippling fear.

You’re not about to retrace steps

You’re not about to sort this mess

I’ve been ignoring; You are gone

And I’ve been waiting far too long.

It isn’t you that’s lost, it’s me

I can’t be who I used to be.

I need to grieve myself and try

To put aside the hurt; I cry

For her, the girl still gone,

I’ll try to love who I’ve become.